I’m here. You can do this.
Mina Smallman was interviewed on 7th July on the Today Programme https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000xm6c (2hrs 10 mins). She spoke very personally and movingly after the trial of the young man who was convicted of murdering two of their three daughters, Nikki and Bibaa in NW London a year earlier. He was a stranger to them and committed this appalling crime as his side of a ‘pact’ with the devil. In return for killing 6 women, he believed he would win the lottery. As sickening as it gets.
Mina’s words speak for themselves and here are two of her answers. She was asked, “Have there been moments your faith has been shaken through this?” She replied, “No. I have to say there are times when I felt unable to pray because I just felt so grief stricken. But every now and then, when I’ve just thought, you know, I don’t want to be here, I’ve felt a nudge to say, ‘No, I’m here. You can do this.’”
The next question was “Could you ever imagine forgiving him?” “I have” she replied in a strong voice. “I already have. I’ve surprised myself actually. When we hold hatred for someone, it’s not only them who are held captive, it’s you, because your thoughts become consumed by revenge. I refuse to give him that power. He is a non-entity to me. The thing that we have done – because remember the ‘pact’ said he was going to kill another four women – two of our precious daughters died but for four other families, their children have not been taken and that’s the gift. He has no power in our lives.”
Mina (until 2016 she was Archdeacon of Southend) and her family are going through extremes of pain. What she said has and will continue to inspire many. Let us, in the areas in our lives where her words resonate, take new heart and resolve.